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2004-02-01 - 3:50 a.m. Slated for Deletion I have nothing to say... Meh. So, I've been trying to count the calories and lose the pounds again. It's not like it's that difficult,but... oh, who am I kidding? It's so damn hard! A couple of weeks ago, one of the second years at the high school (11th graders in the US, btw) called me a 'fat woman'. Probably because they couldn't find something more insulting in their junior Japanese-English dictionaries. So, since then, well, I've been doing so many silly things. Like not eating. I know that's bad, skipping on both breakfast and lunch almost daily, before eating some junk and grease and god-knows-what else I can find at the convenience store. Ok, admittedly, it's only a couple of bread goods, a sandwich, a sports drink and a coffee mostly, but that would be what I would end up eating. Sometimes I eat a little more for dinner, a couple hours later, but I don't remember. I'm keeping a food journal, very badly at that, because days will go by before I realize that I didn't write down anything, so there would be whole pages that only say 'Um, I think I ate this or that, but I don't know'... So, I've been half-starving myself, and my current sleeping habits isn't helping either. I just can't get out of bed in the morning now-a-days. When I do, it's with only 30 minutes to take a shower and dress. There's no time to make myself a decent, or even not-that-decent, breakfast, much less pack a lunch for myself. And, while at the school, I'm sometimes so nervous/upset/shy/dulled that I don't go down to the Family Mart a block away to get anything to eat during the lunch break. I'd rather hide in the staff room, behind my little desk, bored out of my mind, than to go out and mingle with these kids that may see me and decide to call me 'fat woman' again. So I oversleep, and I don't eat regularly. Yeah. In any case, I'll have to get around to adding regular exercise too, but at least I've lost a little of all this already... Who am I kidding... The Past - Guestbook - The Future, Too |